


Flirting

by dykejonze



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M, Prompt Fill, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Ughhhhhhhhh, awkward old men being awkward, canonverse, crackfic, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 02:47:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6935770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dykejonze/pseuds/dykejonze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It would be just Erwin’s luck to be taken out by some dirty old meat and cheese. A death with no blood, no gore, not a single titan to be seen, probably shitting his brains out miles from the nearest doctor all because he couldn’t keep his big stupid hands off of the hors d'oeuvres.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flirting

**Author's Note:**

> prompt fill for [eruriv](http://www.eruriv.tumblr.com) "i'm flirting with you". in which erwin is the worst flirt of all time and levi is clueless.

The gala had been as miserable as he’d expected. Stuffy and boring with weak drinks and people with too much money to still be considered human. Levi had spent most of his night nursing glass after glass of watery liquid claiming to be alcohol, speaking only when spoken to with his back pressed against a wall. He wasn’t like Erwin, he wasn’t charming and he didn’t dance, he didn’t sweep young women off their feet with a perfect, white smile and bright blue eyes. His own teeth were small and crooked, hidden behind pursed lips, and he scowled when someone dared to make eye contact. Levi wasn’t like Erwin and he didn’t want to be– he was content enough with watching, with those rare moments when their eyes met across the ballroom and the schmoozing grin the commander reserved for the wives of wealthy nobles would soften into something warm, something just for Levi, leaving his palms sweaty and his heart beating so hard he wondered if he might vomit.

He didn’t vomit, as fate would have it, relief washing over him when the music stopped and Erwin parted ways with a woman who had seemed a little more than disappointed that he wouldn’t be joining her for another dance, going so far as to try to pull him back in. Levi found himself struggling to contain a smirk around the lip of his glass at the startled expression breaking through the poised mask, the immediate attempt to cover it up with another smile, something whispered in the woman’s ear. Soon he was at Levi’s side, the words “Let’s go,” coming low and gruff in his ears. Levi pushed off the wall with a final sip of his drink, discarded it before trailing behind the larger man.

It hadn’t been Erwin’s first slip that night, though it would have gone unnoticed by anyone but Levi. In fact, Erwin had seemed a little off for some time, distracted, staring off in a daze when he should have been focused, his typically sharp and automatic responses as they made their way through the candlelit halls coming out a beat late, distant. Levi hadn’t been certain when it happened, but as they made their way to the carriage that would bring them back to headquarters, he remembered again how he had thought he’d seen Erwin step on one woman’s foot, how he’d frozen from his spot against the wall when it happened (or had it?) wondering if perhaps he was seeing things– but then she was laughing and Erwin was laughing with her, words that Levi would never hear passed back and forth between them as they gracefully darted across the room. Their eyes met again, that little smile, and Levi had turned away to refill his glass, to dull that sickening jolt in the pit of his stomach, the woman and her foot forgotten.

Now, in the carriage, the scene replayed in his mind on repeat, and when his eyes flickered towards the man sitting beside him, he found that Erwin was staring. Levi frowned, arms folded across his chest as he leaned back against the seat.

“What.”

Erwin blinked, as if surprised, and he shook his head with a quick, “Nothing.” A beat. His gaze lingered, bright and burning, and Levi was overcome with the sudden urge to scoot as far from him as possible. “You… tonight. You were… well, you looked very…” The Commander gave a vague gesture with his hand before letting it fall useless into his lap. Levi’s brows pulled tighter together. It was far too late to get out of the carriage.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Your coat.”

“My– what about my coat.” He was sitting upright, muscles in his folded arms tensing, as if he could hug himself out of existence. He wondered if Erwin was ill. The food that had been passed around looked questionable at best, Levi was always telling him not to eat it– too many hands, who knew where they’d all been?

“Is it new?”

“It’s yours.”

“Oh. Yes, of course.” It would be just Erwin’s luck to be taken out by some dirty old meat and cheese. A death with no blood, no gore, not a single titan to be seen, probably shitting his brains out miles from the nearest doctor all because he couldn’t keep his big stupid hands off of the hors d'oeuvres. The imagine was horrific. Levi wondered if he would be next, if this sudden virus was lying in wait in the drinks as well and soon he, too, would be babbling senselessly like an idiot. A dying idiot. “It’s nice. It really…yes. It’s nice.”

“Erwi–”

“Have you, ah. Done something new? With your hair?”

Levi reached out a hand, placing it flat against Erwin’s forehead, only to be met with widened eyes, the man’s mouth agape. He didn’t feel feverish, wasn’t pale or clammy. There was no evidence that he was in pain, that the terrifying visions of him curled up on the floor of the carriage, groaning and shitting and choking out his final breath would come true. It made no sense, left Levi confused and frustrated.

“My hair.” He repeated, the words leaving him slowly, dripping off his tongue apprehensively. To his horror, Erwin scooted closer to him. He made the mistake of looking him in the eyes, and panic began to rise up in him. Maybe he wasn’t dying after all. Maybe it was the stress of his position, the heavy weight of being the commander finally crushing down on him, driving him insane. Erwin was insane. The further Levi moved away, the closer Erwin came, until he was pressed up against the window. Maybe Erwin would throttle him in a fit of psychosis. It suddenly seemed kinder than forcing Levi to go on listening to his mad rambling.

“You… you smell very. Clean. That’s– you’ve showered today.” The man gave out a soft chuckle. Levi sat frozen, realizing then that his hand was still splayed out against Erwin’s forehead. Still no fever. “Well, you, ah– you shower every day but you have today as well. That’s very… you’re very well groomed.” The hand dropped beside him like dead weight and he thought that perhaps now he might really vomit.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

It was Erwin’s turn to frown, brows knit, something akin to disappointment showing in his features. “I’m flirting with you.” He said slowly, as if it should have been obvious, no trace of shame or embarrassment in his voice.

Flirting. Levi balked, waiting for Erwin to crack a smile, for laughter, for a sign that this was a sick joke being played on him so he could be pissed off and get over it. It wasn’t like Erwin, the hardened commander, to make a joke like that. It was hardly like him to joke at all, and Levi could feel his fist curling anxiously, angrily at his side, nails digging into his palm. If it was a joke, it was a pretty shitty one– but the longer he stared, the further Erwin’s face fell, until he looked positively wounded. Flirting. He was flirting. Levi’s mind raced back to the gala they’d only just left, to dozens of galas just like that one, to the schmoozing grins and the fawning women. He’d seen Erwin flirt more times than he could count. He’d seen it– it wasn’t like… _that._

“You’re flirting…” Saying it out loud didn’t make it sound any less ridiculous. Was this why they didn’t have funding? Had Levi simply not been listening properly all this time, mistaking Erwin’s pathetic bumbling for smooth talking his way in and out of every situation presented to him? Levi was sure he wasn’t so socially inept that he wouldn’t have noticed it sooner. And then it sank in. He was flirting– “With me.”

“I… admit I’m feeling a bit nervous.” Erwin offered him a tentative smile. It’s not like the ones from before, the ones at the gala that made Levi’s chest ache, but one to mask the miserable expression his face had fallen into. “Perhaps I ought to try aga–”

“No.” He said it too quickly, almost desperately, and immediately Erwin’s smile dropped.

“Oh.” _Oh._ The sting of perceived rejection was written all over him, his shoulder’s slumping only slightly, as if he was trying to maintain those last shreds of dignity. “I… must have misread. You never are– I’ve never found you particularly easy to read, I suppose. But I thought–”

Levi’s lips crushed against his, not needing to hear what he thought because he already knew. Erwin was still for a moment, eyes wide, processing, before he was winding his arms around Levi, pulling him closer.

“You taste like… like alcohol.” Erwin said, breathless as they parted. “And. Other things– it’s not a bad taste, it’s–”

“You talk too fucking much.” Levi’s fingers tangled in his collar, pulling him in again, if only to shut him up for the rest of the night.

**Author's Note:**

> [follow my stupid tumblr](http://www.dyke-jonze.tumblr.com) for more embarrassing old men


End file.
